When you are unexpectedly pregnant, making a decision is your right. And if your friends, family, or partner are trying to pressure you into having an abortion, know that this is never acceptable.
Coercing or forcing you to choose an abortion is against the law. Women can experience pressure in subtle or more obvious ways. Knowing what to look for can help you find support and surround yourself with those who will respect your decision.
Keep reading to learn more about these signs. You can also schedule a free and confidential appointment at Crossroads Life Center to learn how we can help.
1. Your loved ones directly (or indirectly) inform you of the “right choice.”
You may find that your friends, family, or partner tell you that abortion is the right choice for this pregnancy. Or they might say that you wouldn’t be able to parent or choose adoption.
Whether said directly or implied, these are all examples of external pressure to have an abortion.
2. They threaten or intimidate you.
Perhaps your partner threatens to end the relationship if you don’t have an abortion. Or your parents state they’ll kick you out of the house if you want to continue the pregnancy.
If you face threats, intimidation, or even neglect from loved ones because of a different viewpoint, know that you never deserve this behavior and should always be respected.
3. You experience emotional manipulation.
Emotional manipulation can take all kinds of forms, but it often comes from a partner.
Your partner may guilt-trip you or say things like, “If you really loved me, you would do this.” This form of abuse can be psychologically damaging and make you question whether you’re a “good” partner or person.
4. Your loved ones tell you to have an abortion as quickly as possible.
While it is true that certain options like abortion are time-sensitive (depending on the state in which you live), you may be facing outside pressure if your loved ones tell you to have an abortion as soon as possible.
When you can’t weigh your options carefully and are instead told to decide without researching your options or receiving an ultrasound to confirm your pregnancy, this can be a form of pressure.
5. They undermine your feelings about adoption and parenting.
Whenever you discuss parenting or adoption, your loved ones might point out any perceived flaws that could prevent you from choosing one of those options.
They might express worry about how your pregnancy will impact their lives or say things like, “You don’t really believe you could place your child for adoption, right? That’ll never happen!”
Often, people project their fears or preconceived ideas onto a situation. They want you to make a choice that supports their beliefs or experiences. This unhealthy mindset can reduce the agency you feel over your decision.
There is Hope
While experiencing this pressure can be stressful, there is hope. You don’t have to navigate this situation alone—and you don’t have to tolerate abuse or mistreatment.
You Get to Decide
Take a step back for a moment and reflect on your loved ones’ behavior. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for 24/7 support if you suspect abuse. Abuse can escalate during pregnancy and place you in a precarious situation.
You deserve respect, safety, and autonomy. Even if you aren’t being abused, feeling pressured to choose an abortion is never okay.
Crossroads Life Center will help you understand your options, access community resources, and receive emotional support. This is your choice—we’re here to empower you in a free and confidential space.
Schedule an appointment today. We’re in your corner.
Crossroads Life Center does not provide or refer for abortions.